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  • Kevin Patton

Just Hug

Updated: Sep 17, 2019

This exercise can work for those who just aren’t ready for or receptive to deep, personal conversations. It can create a form of intimacy, without words, that may allow more talking intimacy in the future. Even if it doesn’t, it can help restore a sense of closeness with our partner.

One frequent complaint from women is that they don't like their partners kissing them or touching them because it "always leads to the expectation of sex."

One way to stop this habit is to introduce the practice of holding each other in a comfortable, non-sexual hug. Do it standing up wherever you are in the kitchen, garden, garage, anywhere. Simply hold each other until you feel the stress and pressure leave your body. That's all -- no other agenda and no required connection to any sexual behaviour.

At first, the hug may feel uncomfortable as you experience the stress in your and your partner's body. Try not to let go too soon. If you hang in there, you will reach a point where you feel yourself and/or your partner softening. Try to wait for that moment before you pull away.

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